Four Months December 28, 2008

Ari turned four months old today and promptly hit two milestones: his first swing on a proper swingset (yes, I count this as a milestone) and rolling over from back to tummy. People say it all the time, but you have no idea just how drastic a truth it really is until you have a child: they grow so fast.

I wasn’t sure about the swing. But he was crying and it was high-backed so I figured, why not. We had a good few pushes before an Israeli family came over, and the mom promptly lit up. He was smiling hugely but I don’t mix cigarettes and kids if I can help it. Once back at our breakfast table (great place– restaurant within a farm, one of my favorite kinds of Israeli establishments), Ari puked. Motion sickness strikes again.

Hours later, after a day in Tel Aviv, it was time for tummy time. So we whipped out the playgym, or as the ‘Raelis call it “baby university”. Me likes. I’ve been helping Ari roll over for a couple of weeks now, just to give him a sense of what can happen. And today, right after I did so in one direction, he proceeded to do it on his own. Not once, not twice, but three times. This kid rocks.

Its amazing how much a world can change in four months. I have lots to say on this, but we’re on vacation.

Happy Birthday son. We love you.

Horton Hears a Who, page Seventy Two December 24, 2008

OK, the book has no page numbers. But today Ari was reading Horton Hears a Who — OK, Roy was reading, and he was staring at the pages — and he turned his first page. Fine, so he turned it backward (Roy reads too fast), but still. And we are in Israel, so maybe technically it doesn’t count as backward. Who says kids in the digital age don’t read.

The Kid Likes to Travel December 16, 2008

Needless to say, I was a little paranoid about our first flight. I ran around all morning having underestimated how long it would take, and we ended up at the airport two and a half hours early. On the upside there was no security line and we had time for a burger.

I like to sleep on planes, and I invariably get sat in front of kids who kick the back of my chair. I was not looking forward to being the plane pariah.

I needn’t have worried. Ari loved every minute of it, and konked out for the majority of the flight while we were still taxiing. The flight attendants commended him (and us).

Lets hope this continues.

A Room of His Own December 16, 2008

A few people have asked me about Ari’s room. Turns out there is actually a fair amount to say about it, other than my probably-pretty-obvious disdain of pastels.

First the important stuff. We’re probably fairly typical first-time parents in that for the first several weeks we were way too scared to have Ari sleep in a different room. Our first night in the hospital I actually slept with my arm in the hospital crib. (Our second night, we followed some very good advice from more experienced parents to put him in the nursery and enjoy a night of sleep. I sleepwalked twice in the middle of the night to check on him, but still, this was very good advice.) When we got home, we tried the Moses basket, but he hated it, so we had him in bed with us for the first couple of weeks. While we were sans pillows, it was kinda fun. We moved him to his crib at about 2 weeks, but didn’t move him out of our room until about 3 months, a couple of weeks after he started sleeping through the night. In hindsight, we were probably ready to move him earlier, but we had house guests for much of November, so logistically it didn’t really work. Now we’re all enjoying sleeping in our own beds through the night. Its the little things…

Which leads me to the fun stuff. Ari’s room doubles as a guest room, which dictated much of the design (which sounds a little highfallutin, but I can’t think of an alternative). I’ve always loved the Stokke crib, which has the benefit of being on wheels and small enough to fit through doorways (he rejoins us in our room when we have company). Its only problem is that its hard to find cute, good bedding for it, which I resolved by finding a woman in Texas who does custom crib bedding. The little love seat, ottoman and lamp (sorry Jeff, once I saw it on the Cape house I had to have it) are from Ikea. The sofa actually folds out to a bed AND has storage underneath for that bedding. So that replaced a rocker or glider for us. The ottoman I use as a changing table, plus it also has storage, so it doubles as a toy chest. The two other things I love about the room– which is finally starting to feel more like Ari’s room than a guest room– are the big black and white print (Megan and I got the fabric at Ikea and stretched it ourselves– he LOVES this thing) and the red Kartell side table/storage unit (which I think I first saw at Jaime’s old 3rd Avenue apartment)

There are little things you can’t see in the pics as well: a painted box Roy and I got on our first trip to Israel together, a goofy photo of us in Tokyo on our honeymoon, the painting over his crib Roy got at a Wes Clark fundraiser, a painting in the bathroom done by an old friend of the family, and last but certainly not least, a glass block with his name etched on it, created by his grandfather Ari.

Clearly he won’t remember all of it, but I hope he remembers it as a colorful, fun place filled with love.

Sidebar: pregnant ladies run-don’t-walk if you don’t already own an exercise ball– they work miracles on you and on baby.

Milk (the Movie) December 10, 2008

We finally saw Milk this weekend. I’ve been dying to see it since they were filming in our neighborhood last year. Also, we did a show on it recently. I’m proud it was Ari’s first film.

Let me first say its an amazing story– not only about Harvey Milk and civil rights, but about how San Francisco came to be San Francisco as we know it today. As urban planning/economic development/political nerds, we were genuinely moved. As the daughter of a gay man, I must say it touched me more than any other gay story I can remember seeing/hearing about/being exposed to. Refreshing that a devastating gay story isn’t about AIDS, but I suppose that shows my age.

More importantly, it infuriated me. A person living in California watching this movie cannot help but wonder why it couldn’t have come out 2 months earlier, and how it might have influenced Proposition 8. Organizers against Prop 8 should be ashamed of themselves for not drawing more heavily on the cultural heritage inherent in the film to move people to vote. Seriously, are we at a point where only the entertainment/media elite can move people ? With all of the talk of hope and change (in the film, and from the Obama movement), I was struck all over again by what a disaster the organization against Prop 8 has been.

Please go see the movie and tell me what you think. I am needing to talk about this.

B-Day, Coinciding with D-Day December 10, 2008

I neglected to mention today is also Roy’s birthday.

Its hard not to think about how much life has changed in the last year. Watching him become a father is one of the most beautiful things in my life. We still grow together every day, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful to call him my best friend and husband.

Especially on days like today.

D-Day: Firing the Nanny December 10, 2008

Its an anxiety-filled day in San Francisco. After 3 months of trying to make it work, we’re firing Nanny today. Why? She’s totally f’ing nuts. What have I learned that I’d like to pass along?
1- Know what you are willing to outsource and what you are not. A full-service nanny will expect to give your child a lot of their firsts. Some parents might be ok with this, I am not.
2- Stand your ground. Nannies who insist on a certain way of doing things once will do so on innumerable things moving forward. This woman has brought her own stroller, her own toys, her own blankets. I drew the line at her own pots/pans, but I regret not drawing it much earlier.
3- Beware of the nanny who doesn’t otherwise have a family nearby. In our case at least, it led her to have an artificial attachment that we were not comfortable with.
4- Beware the attention-hog. My last straw was finding out from one of the moms in my mommy’s group that Nanny was holding court at the cafe with my son, essentially performing with him as her prop.
5- Lastly, trust your instincts. If you feel there is a possibility a person might kidnap your child (or are suspicious that they don’t use their given name– should have been my first clue), something is not right.

I can’t wait for today to be over.

Gear Recommendation: Tiny Love December 6, 2008

Tiny Love is an Israeli company that I was peripherally aware of as I started to think about essential baby gear. My mother in law happened to go to Israel shortly after Ari’s birth, and she returned with a ton of Tiny Love stuff, not knowing it was available in the U.S.

Consider their products as you fit out your playroom/bag of tricks. We don’t really do toys that don’t have a pretty clear developmental value. Tiny Love is a company completely founded on the same belief. All three of us love their stuff.

Gear Recommendation: Baby Bjorn Bouncy Chair December 5, 2008

Every expecting parent gets a ton of advice on what they need to buy. Its a little gross, but a little necessary.

Given The Pending Baby Boom, I feel like I should be of service, especially on the things we (Ari and parents) really love and couldn’t live without. I should disclaim that we are picky about safety and design and materials.

All that said, this is one of our favorites.

Introduced to us by our friends Conley and Meredith, this is a great alternative to some of the other bouncy chairs that include electronic vibrations, visual and audio stimulation. I put Ari in one of those recently at a friends house and he just completely spaced out. Handy for the couple of minutes I wanted to distract him away from my holding another baby, not so much how I want him spending time every day. I love this chair because it looks great and it teaches baby cause and effect– they learn to bounce themselves while maintaining full range of vision.

Its so popular with our family, that it wins the Shula Seal of Approval– no easy task.

Gear Recommendation: Bugaboo Bee December 5, 2008

Strollers. Why is it that we focus on the stroller? I guess as urban people, we want to walk around the way we want to walk around.

For us, that meant something small, something light, and something that folded easily (in one piece, for local travel or plane travel) and could accommodate a baby right away, either on its own, or with a car seat (we don’t actually use it with a car seat, but thats another matter– when you’re spending this kind of money, you want to preserve the option).

Seems simple, right? Actually, this wish list didn’t leave us with a lot of options. There was the Maclaren XLR (can’t fold with car seat adapter), the Baby Jogger City Mini (I can’t get into the 3-wheelers, but this folds like a dream), the Microlite Toro (very interesting, but doesn’t feel sturdy), the Quinny Zapp (also not sturdy) and the Orbit (so expensive, also the toddler chair looks weird to me, like something for kids who have been institutionalized).

We settled on the Bee (the other Bugaboos don’t fold in one piece and are 10 pounds heavier with the bassinet) and LOVE it. Roy insisted on taxi cab yellow, which wouldn’t have been my first choice, but which he points out is very visible for drivers. Point taken.